*Edited to add* This was originally the first entry in a TTC/pregnancy blog but I realised I was neglecting one for the other so I decided to merge!*
So I feel kind of silly here… obviously if you read my other blog you know that I don’t have any children and I’m not pregnant (yet). However if all goes according to plan, I will be sometime within the next 12 months and I wanted somewhere seperate to keep my thoughts leading up to and throughout that time.
Part of me thinks I’m mad, not only for starting this so early but also for having a second blog when I barely keep up with my own one… but I felt like I wanted to keep this seperate in case things don’t turn out the way we hope or something and then I can just get rid of this place if I want to without losing any of my original blog (which I’ve been keeping since I was 16 by the way so I have no intention of getting rid of that!). Does that make sense?
So all I can think about at the moment is babies. All I see on TV is babies, out in the street… babies and pregnant women, all I look up on the net is baby sites, pregnancy sites, reading about giving birth (and scaring myself silly lol!). I know if the circumstances were ideal debt wise, there’d be none of this ‘within the next 12 months’ rubbish – we’d be trying for our little one right now, we’ve both said so. It’s a shame these days that these kinds of decisions seem to be based more and more on money and I’d so rather it was more about what we want. But we are thinking of how life will be for our child when we have them, we just want to be in the strongest financial position we possibly can….
I kind of wish it could be left a bit more up to chance, like “Oh we forgot to use a condom how silly of us, oh we’re pregnant OH WELL *big grins*” but as I’ve been on the contraceptive pill for the last 7 years it is impossible – we need to make the active decision to for me to come off them and when we do, my gut tells me it won’t take long (although of course I don’t like to assume ANYTHING, the thought that we may have any real problems terrifies me!!) but after all I’m 23 years old, about to turn 24 which Baby Centre tells me is my absolute peak fertile time and I have no reason to assume we’d have problems so…
Anyway I’m rambling. My point is that, much as we’d like it to be, right now isn’t the time. But I’m thinking about it constantly so I wanted a place to share my thoughts. I’ve been re-reading Alice’s pregnancy journal. She currently resides at blogspot but all her archives right back from trying to conceive her first baby (she’s now expecting her 5th boy which I’m SO excited for!) are still stored at diaryland for now. I find her entries so descriptive and interesting, I’ve started reading the whole thing a second time over and I’m sure I will find it very helpful when I’m going through it myself. So thanks Alice 🙂
I think I’ve written enough pointless jibberish for one day but expect more because I have sooo many thoughts on this subject at the moment!!