So at the moment I’m feeling two main things – crazy amounts of excitement and slight apprehension. Believe it or not, the apprehension has nothing to to with the baby.. at least not directly. I wish David seemed a bit more excited that’s all. I know he is because he keeps bringing the baby up in random conversation and looks really happy but when it comes to the nitty gritty of it – ie. me wanting to read about stages of pregnancy or maternity clothes etc. he seems disinterested and says it’s too soon. I get the impression he doesn’t want to jinx us by assuming anything though which is fair enough I suppose. Plus I guess he’s right in a way, it is too soon considering I’m not even pregnant yet!! But I can’t quite seem to get my head around the idea that might not happen for us straight away… if I’m honest I fully expect to be pregnant in the next couple of months and I’m trying so hard not to because I know I could be setting myself up for disappointment when it takes longer (which it easily could of course).
So yes I know he’s right to wait until we actually get pregnant before getting too excited but then I can’t help thinking that we’ll be like “Oh well let’s not get too excited in the first 3 months in case we miscarry” and then “Oh let’s not get too excited before the birth in case there are complications” and before you know it we’ll have wasted the whole pregnancy worrying about things that will probably never happen instead of being excited for our beautiful baby’s arrival! So I’m getting excited now dammit lol!
Ok so things to note – we have been off the pill for 5 days now and managed to have unprotected sex (in our fab new bed which we both admit to being glad will be the one our baby will most likely be conceived in – no previous partners etc. silly I know but hey!) three times before my withdrawal bleed started on Tuesday. So almost certainly not pregnant now obviously but hopefully my periods return to normal quickly…. fingers crossed!!!