I’ve started to write a few posts of late and scrapped them. It’s not that I don’t have things to write about, it’s just that all my posts seem to end up the same way…
… moaning about anxiety during pregnancy.
I am worrying about this and fixating on it in a way unlike I’ve ever done before. I’m generally a very chilled out person who just takes life as it comes and I love being pregnant, yet this time I am just willing it to pass by faster and faster which makes me sad. I honestly want to walk around with my legs crossed because I can’t shake this ridiculous feeling I have all the time that he’s just going to… fall out! (Gosh, how stupid does that even sound as I write it?!?) I know I promised an update on my consultant appointment but now, two weeks down the line I’m not sure if I can really be bothered – suffice to say, they’re keeping a cautious eye on me and I will continue to have regular consultant appointments and at least one more scan.
My consultant seems to think another premature labour is likely although he doesn’t appear to have a reason for thinking so other than that it already happened once…
… oh how I hope he’s wrong!
I guess you can see how not much that was said or done in that appointment made me feel any better about things. On top of that, baby is measuring big (not abnormally big, just at the larger end of the scale big) so they’re keeping an eye on that as well, although they didn’t seem particularly concerned – I have no idea where this big baby of mine is hiding though as I’m still carrying fairly small!
I wonder why just ONE measly little thing about a pregnancy of mine can’t be normal? I’m sorry to any readers that I have left that I am always moaning but it’s only because we wanted this baby so much and in some ways we probably appreciated him more right from beginning (we even made cupcakes to annouce him to our friends after the 12 week scan)and I so desperately want things to be alright. I’m sure they will be, it’s just that experience has led me to believe that they often aren’t. I promise to make my next post all about something uplifting. Although I suppose I wouldn’t want to become a Stepford blogger now would I? 😉
So until next time when I’m back with a nice, cheerful cake recipe….