Yes, I do mean like an eating disorder, sort of like cleaning anorexia maybe. Having dabbled in eating disorders a bit myself (nothing remotely serious and a long time ago), I recognise the signs in myself again – but instead of food, this time it’s the house that’s driving me crazy! I don’t have OCD or anything like that (I don’t think!) but I feel this constant need to clean and tidy everything up, even if things aren’t messy/dirty. If the entire house hasn’t been cleaned at least once a week (and I do mean everything, regardless of how dirty it is), I get a sort of antsy feeling that I can’t shake. I clean my kitchen floor so often that I know it off by heart… I know every single mark on it, which ones will scrub off and which ones won’t.
The reason I likened all this to an eating disorder is because I’m sure that I must see the house as being messier than it is, in the same way that an anorexic girl will see a huge, fat blob staring back at her in the mirror even though to the rest of the world she looks like a skeleton. My eyes see specks of dirt and smudges and things out of place everywhere I turn when, in reality I *know* it is probably above averagely clean.
I’ve tried to chill out about the whole thing (as some of you may remember from my New Years Resolutions) but I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just me now and I can’t change it. What baffles me is what has started it because let me assure you (my mother would back me up on this!) I’ve been far from tidy in the past!